hi hi im rean and this blog will serve as my psuedo-intellectualism chamber. i'm not sure if i'm going to stick to this platform for archiving, but it's definitely better than twitter where i can actually tag any writeups or text dumps for future reference.
as of the time of writing this, i am 21 and carrying two degrees. yippee! i'm into cybersec but also a hobbyist artist. i try to write things that i think are important, but they're probably quite stupid.
i am huge into 80s mecha and i am trying very hard to archive posters/official art, eventually i aim to help get some scanlations in order with some buddies. i also have a huge interest in anything tangential with the cold war (except for some reason i could not care less about politicians. this is curious).
here's some shit i like.
anime: gasaraki, argento soma, spt layzner, votoms, mellowlink, insert garbage 80s OVAs, irredeemable bl+moeshit and circlejerk /a/ elitist shows here
manga: any of takayuki yamaguchi's works, most go nagai stuff (violence jack ftw!!!), homunculus, guyver, berserk, akira, fss (not for plot, but character designs..)
movies: nails, happiness, inland empire (most lynch things anyways), videodrome, stalker, solaris, barton fink, network
tv: twin peaks, x-files, barry, bcs/breaking bad, star trek (ds9 my favorite), kolchack, the rockford files, whatever 70s-80s crime dramas i'm probably missing
music: forum (and other 80s ssr shit), kidorikko, chakra, airmail from nagasaki, genesis, xtc, steely dan, yes, nine inch nails, machines of loving grace, of montreal, rem, goreshit, prefab sprout, picasso
vidya: planet laika, all the kill the past games, gen3-4 pokemon (especially pmd), garage a bad dream adventure, fear and hunger, killer instinct, plok, baroque, metal gear, hotline miami, early final fantasy, mother, megami tensei, silent hill, 90s point and click/text based games, ryona games
general: the weather channel, satellites/space race, cold war, nuclear development, ham radio, martial arts, las vegas, building facades, re, plamo, airplanes
i'm absolutely fogetting things. whatever
hopefully i don't forget this site exists in coming weeks. cheers!
colors_tcg halloween event - 2024
Oct. 29th, 2024 09:07 am
it's my first time participating so if i'm messing something up forgive me ^__^" i got a page on my site but i guess it's probably better to track things here..
i have been assigned gray candy this year!

i don't have trick-or-treat requirements, but if you want, you can tell me about a game you really like or an OC you've been working on or drawing.
candy collected:







candy given:
misheard 10/29
mezzin 10/29
koinuko 10/29
1251 10/29
netbug009 10/29
jelliebean 11/1
adelicya 11/1
easymind 11/1
aratakis 11/1
heartsfate 11/1
overthedimension 11/1
pictomancers 11/1
cloudcolors 11/1
lingon 11/1
reneetwist 11/2
spideria 11/3
byakkun 11/3
ourdivinecomedy 11/3
catcat 11/4
borabene 11/7
ta_so_ga_re 11/7
moes 11/10
tophatcats 11/10
candy received:
easymind 10/30
1251 10/29
riku's favors 11/1
pictomancers 11/3
birdwrong 11/3
reneetwist 11/3
misheard 11/3
spideria 11/3
larecrow 11/3
overthedimension 11/3
adelicya 11/4
cloudcolors 11/4
koinuko-colors 11/4
ta_so_ga_re 11/4
jelliebean 11/4
catcat 11/4
concentration 086 11/4
hi5 radio 276 11/4
mezzin 11/4
lingon 11/4
ourdivinecomedy 11/4
tiddly_widdly 11/4
netbug009 11/4
aroseofmay 11/4
byakkun 11/5
aratakis 11/5
namelessharuspex 11/5
tophatcats 11/5
crabg1rl 11/6
moes 11/10
admiral 11/10
lachesis's trading post
Sep. 8th, 2024 11:17 amcomment to trade/gift/etc;
here's the card index on my main site!
here's the card index on my main site!
2024 media log
Feb. 16th, 2024 06:41 pmnote @ 2/16/2024: i don't know why i'm doing this. i should have kept better logs earlier this year but eh it's whatever. not going to put full reviews on here until later.
in progress - Taxi (1978)
- Earthbound (started 2/19)
- Pokemon Emerald
- Shiren the Wanderer (started 1/1...)
__
2/18 - F - Lawrence of Arabia - 4.5/5 - w friends
2/15 - VG - MOTHER (tomato's patch) - replay - 5/5
2/15 - B - Blood Music - 4.5/5
2/15 - B - Missile Gap - 1/5
2/15 - B - A Colder War - 1/5
2/14 - M - Loveless - My Bloody Valentine - relisten - 4.5/5
2/14 - M - Little Dark Age - MGMT - relisten - 4.5/5
2/4 - F - California Split - 5/5
2/3 - F - Pacific Rim - 3/5
2/3 - M - Spirit of Eden - Talk Talk - relisten - 5/5
2/1 - F - Cruising - 3/5
1/21 - A - Hoshi Neko Fullhouse - 4/5
1/21 - M - Epic Garden Music - Sad Lovers and Giants - 3/5
1/20 - A - Bullbuster - 2.5/5
1/13 - M - Золотая коллекция, 3 - Ариэль - 4/5
1/7 - F - Maria Mirabella - 3/5
1/6 - F - Aventuri la Marea Neagra - 3/5
1/5 - F - Buletin de Bucuresti - 4/5
1/2 - F - Serenada pentru etajul XII - 2.5/5
in progress - Taxi (1978)
- Earthbound (started 2/19)
- Pokemon Emerald
- Shiren the Wanderer (started 1/1...)
__
2/18 - F - Lawrence of Arabia - 4.5/5 - w friends
2/15 - VG - MOTHER (tomato's patch) - replay - 5/5
2/15 - B - Blood Music - 4.5/5
2/15 - B - Missile Gap - 1/5
2/15 - B - A Colder War - 1/5
2/14 - M - Loveless - My Bloody Valentine - relisten - 4.5/5
2/14 - M - Little Dark Age - MGMT - relisten - 4.5/5
2/4 - F - California Split - 5/5
2/3 - F - Pacific Rim - 3/5
2/3 - M - Spirit of Eden - Talk Talk - relisten - 5/5
2/1 - F - Cruising - 3/5
1/21 - A - Hoshi Neko Fullhouse - 4/5
1/21 - M - Epic Garden Music - Sad Lovers and Giants - 3/5
1/20 - A - Bullbuster - 2.5/5
1/13 - M - Золотая коллекция, 3 - Ариэль - 4/5
1/7 - F - Maria Mirabella - 3/5
1/6 - F - Aventuri la Marea Neagra - 3/5
1/5 - F - Buletin de Bucuresti - 4/5
1/2 - F - Serenada pentru etajul XII - 2.5/5
fun in the dungeons
Jan. 4th, 2024 10:33 pmRecently I've been sucked into playing NDS Shiren the Wanderer after picking it up from a local gameshop, and I blame this partly because of how similarly it looks to Chunsoft's other more famous mystery dungeon, PMD Red/Blue Rescue Team. but as a longtime PMD fan, Shiren doesn't play too similarly or nicely, and I'm still getting my ass handed to me hours later. I'm writing this as an intro to understanding Shiren as a PMD player I guess.
First off, as most roguelikes, you're supposed to die, learn, repeat, and improve. Talking to NPCs and doing certain quests moves you along in getting party members or special items, or even letting some stores open up. It's not something intended to be done right first try at all, no matter how many of the first-town puzzles you complete.
Let's talk about main differences from early PMD - you can save/quit anywhere, but once you've fallen, the game autosaves. This condition can be avoided only three times in one "run," where you'd need to send out a rescue, like in PMD. There's a rescue decoder here, which you'll find useful if you really want to save a run if you happened upon good items. When you are knocked out in battle, you lose everything - all of your items, levels, and cash. There is no Kangaskhan rock, but you can store items at storehouses in towns and come back to them later, however, there is drastically more limited space. You can make up for this by saving "Jars of Storage" and loading them up with items in the storehouse. Town layouts aren't like PMD and you move linearly to enter the main story dungeon. You can unlock other dungeons through sidequests/postgame, but again, it's not like stopping by a post and selecting which dungeon you'll enter. In this game, you cannot recruit enemies like in PMD, but you can eventually recruit 3 wandering NPCs after fulfilling brief sidequests. Oryu and Kechi are fairly useful but eventually are likely to die past early Table Mountain, from what I've seen. Oryu has the special ability to blind enemies, and Kechi can sometimes offer to give you a massage, which will either give you crazy stat boosts, horrible debuffs, or do nothing at all. Pekeji isn't really worth having on your team unless you're completely stocked on onigiri, from which I've heard he needs about 7-8 to actually become powerful. Else, he'll drain you of all of your food (or he will refuse to move forward and abandon your team), which is hard to come by as it is. Also, the more frustrating thing is that you cannot view the HP/status of your party members and can only vaguely gauge it based off their dialogue and behavior; if they're at low HP/'in trouble,' they'll run from enemies. Since there is no configurable tactics, you have no control over your party members and they tend to almost always chase after enemies, which is either a good thing or a huge detriment later.
Since there's no moveset/'attacks' like in PMD, you need to obtain good weapons and shields and keep buffing them up with Earth and Wind scrolls and the smithy. I hear something like 30+ buff on one item is good enough for endgame, but I haven't been able to get anywhere near that. As it is a mystery dungeon game, RNG is so finicky that it's easy to get through even three whole dungeons without seeing a single weapon to pick up. Also, traps and attacks can ruin your weapons by removing 1 boost level via the rust mechanic. You can counter rust by using a Scroll of Plating to seal up your shield and weapon. Also, different weapons have different strengths, and Pickaxes act like the 'mobility scarf'/ 'super mobile' and 'absolute mover' IQ skills. IQ skills don't exist here either.
You can meld weapons and other items together to make even better upgraded ones that you'll likely need for postgame, except I don't know enough to explain the mechanics since I haven't finished the sidequest for that. Gaibara's jar sidequest will eventually unlock Melding Jars to accomplish just that.
Also, a lot of items you will collect will be 'unidentified' until you reach the town, but you can deduce most staffs by usage. Traps exist in this game but for some reason, party members and enemies can't trigger them.
There are a lot of items with shared mechanics to PMD, just with different names, statuses as well.
items - TODO: ADD SCARF/ARMBAND EQUIVALENTS
traps
The kecleon/thief mechanic is still employed for robbing stores in-dungeon, except I'd say it's more evil in this game, since if you happen not to have enough money to pay for an item, you simply cannot leave the store (in town) and must end your run/soft reset. Couriers act a bit like Kangaskhan rocks in which you can send your items down to your starting point if they're in a jar.
Fay's puzzle feels similar to Makuhita/Marowak's Dojo except it's a little better in a different way since it teaches you gameplay skills, although one can argue the latter is more for grinding up levels.
I honestly feel like Super Mystery Dungeon is closer to Shiren 1 than Blue/Red Rescue team, in which the GUI feels like the most similar thing in the long run. Super and GTI carry over the wand mechanic, and looplets feel like an homage to armbands, even though scarves are pretty much the equivalent. You can also talk to wandering Pokemon who may give you items or allow you to recruit them, much like the wandering NPCs. On the other hand, the most recent Shiren (Dice of Fate) feels much more like an old PMD game down to the spritework.
Obviously since they're two different games, there's still a lot of wildly different mechanics that you'll have to get used to. But have fun and enjoy the grind!
First off, as most roguelikes, you're supposed to die, learn, repeat, and improve. Talking to NPCs and doing certain quests moves you along in getting party members or special items, or even letting some stores open up. It's not something intended to be done right first try at all, no matter how many of the first-town puzzles you complete.
Let's talk about main differences from early PMD - you can save/quit anywhere, but once you've fallen, the game autosaves. This condition can be avoided only three times in one "run," where you'd need to send out a rescue, like in PMD. There's a rescue decoder here, which you'll find useful if you really want to save a run if you happened upon good items. When you are knocked out in battle, you lose everything - all of your items, levels, and cash. There is no Kangaskhan rock, but you can store items at storehouses in towns and come back to them later, however, there is drastically more limited space. You can make up for this by saving "Jars of Storage" and loading them up with items in the storehouse. Town layouts aren't like PMD and you move linearly to enter the main story dungeon. You can unlock other dungeons through sidequests/postgame, but again, it's not like stopping by a post and selecting which dungeon you'll enter. In this game, you cannot recruit enemies like in PMD, but you can eventually recruit 3 wandering NPCs after fulfilling brief sidequests. Oryu and Kechi are fairly useful but eventually are likely to die past early Table Mountain, from what I've seen. Oryu has the special ability to blind enemies, and Kechi can sometimes offer to give you a massage, which will either give you crazy stat boosts, horrible debuffs, or do nothing at all. Pekeji isn't really worth having on your team unless you're completely stocked on onigiri, from which I've heard he needs about 7-8 to actually become powerful. Else, he'll drain you of all of your food (or he will refuse to move forward and abandon your team), which is hard to come by as it is. Also, the more frustrating thing is that you cannot view the HP/status of your party members and can only vaguely gauge it based off their dialogue and behavior; if they're at low HP/'in trouble,' they'll run from enemies. Since there is no configurable tactics, you have no control over your party members and they tend to almost always chase after enemies, which is either a good thing or a huge detriment later.
Since there's no moveset/'attacks' like in PMD, you need to obtain good weapons and shields and keep buffing them up with Earth and Wind scrolls and the smithy. I hear something like 30+ buff on one item is good enough for endgame, but I haven't been able to get anywhere near that. As it is a mystery dungeon game, RNG is so finicky that it's easy to get through even three whole dungeons without seeing a single weapon to pick up. Also, traps and attacks can ruin your weapons by removing 1 boost level via the rust mechanic. You can counter rust by using a Scroll of Plating to seal up your shield and weapon. Also, different weapons have different strengths, and Pickaxes act like the 'mobility scarf'/ 'super mobile' and 'absolute mover' IQ skills. IQ skills don't exist here either.
You can meld weapons and other items together to make even better upgraded ones that you'll likely need for postgame, except I don't know enough to explain the mechanics since I haven't finished the sidequest for that. Gaibara's jar sidequest will eventually unlock Melding Jars to accomplish just that.
Also, a lot of items you will collect will be 'unidentified' until you reach the town, but you can deduce most staffs by usage. Traps exist in this game but for some reason, party members and enemies can't trigger them.
There are a lot of items with shared mechanics to PMD, just with different names, statuses as well.
items - TODO: ADD SCARF/ARMBAND EQUIVALENTS
Shiren the Wanderer | PMD |
---|---|
Weeds | Plain Seed |
Rice Ball | Apple |
Big Rice Ball | Big Apple |
Giant Rice Ball | Huge Apple |
Rotten Rice Ball | Grimy Food |
Wood/Iron/Steel Arrows | Stick/Iron Thorn/Silver Spike |
Medicinal Herb/Restorative Herb | Oran Berry/Sitrus Berry |
Herb of Sight | Eyedrop Seed |
Bitter Herb | Doom Seed |
Dragon Herb | Blast Seed |
Herb of Confusion | Totter Seed |
Herb of Life | Life Seed |
Little Belly Seed | Hunger Seed |
Happiness Herb |
Joy Seed |
Herb of Invisibility | Vanish Seed |
Herb of Revival | Revive Seed |
Kigny Seed | Violent Seed |
Scroll of Confusion | Like a full room Totter Orb |
Scroll of Light | Luminous Orb |
Scroll of Blessing | One-item Cleanse Orb |
Great Hall Scroll | One-room Orb |
Knockback Staff | Blowback Orb; Roar |
Staff of Postpone/Paralysis | Stun Seed, kind of/just like it |
Accelerating Staff | Quick Seed; Agility |
Staff of Sloth | Slow Orb; String Shot |
Switching Staff | Switcher Orb; Baton Pass |
Pain Sharing Staff | Rebound Orb; Counter, DOES NOT WORK LIKE PAIN SPLIT. |
Doppelganger Staff | Decoy Orb |
Sealing Staff | Silence Orb |
traps
Shiren the Wanderer | PMD |
---|---|
Summon Trap | Pokemon Trap |
Spring Trap | Warp Tile |
Pitfall Trap | Pitfall Trap |
Curse Trap | Sticky Trap |
Landmine/Big Landmine Trap | Selfdestruct/Explosion Trap |
Log Trap |
Gust Trap |
The kecleon/thief mechanic is still employed for robbing stores in-dungeon, except I'd say it's more evil in this game, since if you happen not to have enough money to pay for an item, you simply cannot leave the store (in town) and must end your run/soft reset. Couriers act a bit like Kangaskhan rocks in which you can send your items down to your starting point if they're in a jar.
Fay's puzzle feels similar to Makuhita/Marowak's Dojo except it's a little better in a different way since it teaches you gameplay skills, although one can argue the latter is more for grinding up levels.
I honestly feel like Super Mystery Dungeon is closer to Shiren 1 than Blue/Red Rescue team, in which the GUI feels like the most similar thing in the long run. Super and GTI carry over the wand mechanic, and looplets feel like an homage to armbands, even though scarves are pretty much the equivalent. You can also talk to wandering Pokemon who may give you items or allow you to recruit them, much like the wandering NPCs. On the other hand, the most recent Shiren (Dice of Fate) feels much more like an old PMD game down to the spritework.
Obviously since they're two different games, there's still a lot of wildly different mechanics that you'll have to get used to. But have fun and enjoy the grind!
teh 2023 retrospective
Dec. 31st, 2023 03:21 pmGod, 2023 went fast. It feels weird to think that in a few hours, it'll be the new year. I think in general, time is something that's hard to fathom or process for me. Just a few months ago, I finished up my masters degree and then I guess segued into 'proper' (this can be debated) adult life with a career. It's like the heaviest weight has been lifted when I think about the fact that I'm not obligated to step into a college again. But, the change has also been weird even if it's immensely gratifying. I love the work I do and (most) people I work with but also, I think I'm way more tired than usual. As 2023 comes to a close I want to think about all the accomplishments I've done but also thank all the wonderful friends I've made and people I've bonded with who have really given me the support I've needed to move forward. I know this sounds so Linkedin-post flavored bullshit but it's true. I've dealt with loss, some of the most stressful times of my life where I was too terrified to move forward, health problems, drama, the whole lot. I think I've been too tired and lazy too though. But I guess I've done /just enough/ to do well too; work comes first, every other obligation aside from basic needs comes after (maybe this isn't a great mentality but it works for me).
Because I feel kind of upset with this sense of laziness/indecisiveness, I want to resolve myself to do some more than this year (in which other things felt stagnant). I don't need to worry about my job. I already push myself there. But I definitely need to ignore my fears of mediocrity and be more consistent. This is useless info for the common man but I'm committing myself to at least do most of this before the end of 2024.
self-enlightenment
what a corny title. anyways, i've been given free resources, and I need to use them. I want to be a better offensive cyber specialist. Work will help with this but I need to get back into the nitty gritty again. My prior negative experiences in college drew me away from any interest I had, so I think it's time to get my ass back in gear and fiddle around with things I can legally mess with. I'll take some e-courses, finish off books I got from Humblebundle, and I need to be consistent with reading security articles and taking notes.
I also want to learn how to make proper PS1/PS2 models. This seems like a silly goal since I'm not even great at drawing, so it'll be a weird jump, especially when I only know how programs generate these models and basic CAD stuff, not really how to do anything complex. I need to complete a class on this and push myself in this regard so I can make cooler and better things.
I've committed myself to learning Russian but I've made meager progress. I can't communicate, just make out basic words. What good is knowing bullshit like the word snowman when you can't make small talk? I need to keep up daily practice, but maybe try Rosetta Stone or something like that and pray I can get better tutelage, if not, I'll take more e-courses and get the balls to call with native speakers. It's embarrassing but it's the only way I'll develop any skills.
I need to get better at writing and talk like a normal guy. Self isolation and also not taking any non-academic writing in the last three years has taken a toll on my grammar if I'm being honest. I need to learn how to write ideas down concisely and not sound like a rambling lunatic. So I think I should read more, drastically. Nonfiction and fiction. I gotta take some time each day to clear out the pile of books I have at my shelf.
Drawing is something that stresses me out even more than my work for whatever reason. Even if I know I'm better than average but still absolutely not great at it, I still have a complex where I have to work on things. Except everything looks sloppy. I need to do more studies, not just of Kogawa works or Hogarth, but looking at real people. I used to think that doing studies of band members is corny, but it's probably the best way of figuring out how to draw diverse features both realistically and stylized. So I guess you can expect some of that in the future. I also need to push myself to make more actual content of my original stuff I'm working on, because genuinely who is going to care if there is no content, no dialogue, no interactions. It's just a set of okay pictures you look at and move on. I gotta do something more.
I have too high standards for making a "first work" so most things I do never ever get finished. But I need to move past that belief and finally make something. I pray that by the summer I can get out a short mediocre Renpy kinetic story.
routines and small steps
Health-wise I'm not doing so great. This is both because of stress and other things, I've lost a lot of weight. So I think I need to get myself to care more about food and cook a bit more, get more carbs and protein etc etc, especially since I am doing sports again and I don't feel the same. I need to investigate to see if it's just my eating habits or if something else is wrong with me. But I definitely need to clear this up in order to get even enough energy to check off my goals. I want to get back into sports like I did years ago, build up my endurance, and be good enough to enter competitions again. I was there once, so I should be able to reach it again (I hope). Also, working long hours at a desk job is also taking a toll on my body. I need to take small breaks to walk around instead of zoning in at work all the time.
A while ago I thought I would have enough to say for weekly blogposts. I do, but I spill everything in an endless mass of stream-of-consciousness posting that frankly annoys people. I guess it's a habit that needs to change. I need to commit to writing something, whether it be stupid social commentary, a review of something I watched, some art I'm working on, story bits, music to share, whatever. It's true that not many will read it, but it's good to have something archived.
I thought I'd be able to do this earlier, but my life is too chaotic as of right now. I need to enroll in the volunteer aircraft repair group that's not too far away from me. It's an interest I've had for a few years now and I think it'll give me the experience I wanted for a while in terms of mechanic work.
I need to go out of my comfort zone and listen to even more music (full albums). Gotta brush up my RYM, add reviews, link things to people. I'm no expert in anything but it's good to share experiences.
I want to travel to at least one place outside the country before the end of 2024. I want to experience other cultures and eat good food and document the whole thing (how fucking corny). I think there is a lot of beauty in the world that needs to be experienced, and I think it will be better with friends.
In recent days I've picked up a terrible hobby (geoguessr). I have lofty goals but I absolutely want to get good, like championship good. It'll be a lot of time wasted but I have fun.
archiving
I promised earlier that I'd have vinyl and cassette rips, and then I had lots of issues with actually recording audio with my tape deck. That should be mostly resolved by now. In coming months I should be able to post rips of what I own, even if it truly is stupid (there's so many pre-existing rips of things on YouTube anyways)! But, I think each individual recording has something special about it, and maybe you'll think the same way. I especially want to get some recordings of my non-US vinyls and tapes.
In addition, I aim to work with some friends to get more scans/translations in. Unfortunately the lighting/camera setup at my house is not ideal. I might end up having to mail some books to people for better quality scans. Well, I at least aim to fund some translations for mecha content I enjoy (and hopefully some other people will too).
Good god this was a lot of rambling. Sorry for all that. Happy new years everyone.
Because I feel kind of upset with this sense of laziness/indecisiveness, I want to resolve myself to do some more than this year (in which other things felt stagnant). I don't need to worry about my job. I already push myself there. But I definitely need to ignore my fears of mediocrity and be more consistent. This is useless info for the common man but I'm committing myself to at least do most of this before the end of 2024.
self-enlightenment
what a corny title. anyways, i've been given free resources, and I need to use them. I want to be a better offensive cyber specialist. Work will help with this but I need to get back into the nitty gritty again. My prior negative experiences in college drew me away from any interest I had, so I think it's time to get my ass back in gear and fiddle around with things I can legally mess with. I'll take some e-courses, finish off books I got from Humblebundle, and I need to be consistent with reading security articles and taking notes.
I also want to learn how to make proper PS1/PS2 models. This seems like a silly goal since I'm not even great at drawing, so it'll be a weird jump, especially when I only know how programs generate these models and basic CAD stuff, not really how to do anything complex. I need to complete a class on this and push myself in this regard so I can make cooler and better things.
I've committed myself to learning Russian but I've made meager progress. I can't communicate, just make out basic words. What good is knowing bullshit like the word snowman when you can't make small talk? I need to keep up daily practice, but maybe try Rosetta Stone or something like that and pray I can get better tutelage, if not, I'll take more e-courses and get the balls to call with native speakers. It's embarrassing but it's the only way I'll develop any skills.
I need to get better at writing and talk like a normal guy. Self isolation and also not taking any non-academic writing in the last three years has taken a toll on my grammar if I'm being honest. I need to learn how to write ideas down concisely and not sound like a rambling lunatic. So I think I should read more, drastically. Nonfiction and fiction. I gotta take some time each day to clear out the pile of books I have at my shelf.
Drawing is something that stresses me out even more than my work for whatever reason. Even if I know I'm better than average but still absolutely not great at it, I still have a complex where I have to work on things. Except everything looks sloppy. I need to do more studies, not just of Kogawa works or Hogarth, but looking at real people. I used to think that doing studies of band members is corny, but it's probably the best way of figuring out how to draw diverse features both realistically and stylized. So I guess you can expect some of that in the future. I also need to push myself to make more actual content of my original stuff I'm working on, because genuinely who is going to care if there is no content, no dialogue, no interactions. It's just a set of okay pictures you look at and move on. I gotta do something more.
I have too high standards for making a "first work" so most things I do never ever get finished. But I need to move past that belief and finally make something. I pray that by the summer I can get out a short mediocre Renpy kinetic story.
routines and small steps
Health-wise I'm not doing so great. This is both because of stress and other things, I've lost a lot of weight. So I think I need to get myself to care more about food and cook a bit more, get more carbs and protein etc etc, especially since I am doing sports again and I don't feel the same. I need to investigate to see if it's just my eating habits or if something else is wrong with me. But I definitely need to clear this up in order to get even enough energy to check off my goals. I want to get back into sports like I did years ago, build up my endurance, and be good enough to enter competitions again. I was there once, so I should be able to reach it again (I hope). Also, working long hours at a desk job is also taking a toll on my body. I need to take small breaks to walk around instead of zoning in at work all the time.
A while ago I thought I would have enough to say for weekly blogposts. I do, but I spill everything in an endless mass of stream-of-consciousness posting that frankly annoys people. I guess it's a habit that needs to change. I need to commit to writing something, whether it be stupid social commentary, a review of something I watched, some art I'm working on, story bits, music to share, whatever. It's true that not many will read it, but it's good to have something archived.
I thought I'd be able to do this earlier, but my life is too chaotic as of right now. I need to enroll in the volunteer aircraft repair group that's not too far away from me. It's an interest I've had for a few years now and I think it'll give me the experience I wanted for a while in terms of mechanic work.
I need to go out of my comfort zone and listen to even more music (full albums). Gotta brush up my RYM, add reviews, link things to people. I'm no expert in anything but it's good to share experiences.
I want to travel to at least one place outside the country before the end of 2024. I want to experience other cultures and eat good food and document the whole thing (how fucking corny). I think there is a lot of beauty in the world that needs to be experienced, and I think it will be better with friends.
In recent days I've picked up a terrible hobby (geoguessr). I have lofty goals but I absolutely want to get good, like championship good. It'll be a lot of time wasted but I have fun.
archiving
I promised earlier that I'd have vinyl and cassette rips, and then I had lots of issues with actually recording audio with my tape deck. That should be mostly resolved by now. In coming months I should be able to post rips of what I own, even if it truly is stupid (there's so many pre-existing rips of things on YouTube anyways)! But, I think each individual recording has something special about it, and maybe you'll think the same way. I especially want to get some recordings of my non-US vinyls and tapes.
In addition, I aim to work with some friends to get more scans/translations in. Unfortunately the lighting/camera setup at my house is not ideal. I might end up having to mail some books to people for better quality scans. Well, I at least aim to fund some translations for mecha content I enjoy (and hopefully some other people will too).
Good god this was a lot of rambling. Sorry for all that. Happy new years everyone.
Layzner OUT 1986 Article TL
Dec. 20th, 2023 07:20 pmSlowly but surely I'll get all the Layzner interviews and articles translated over the years, I promise it. :-) We're starting off with OUT Magazine's July 1986 interview with Ryosuke Takahashi on what makes Layzner special from his other works.
[ORIGINAL ARTICLE, i apologize for the poor photos but here it is. OUT volume 9, '86.]


[translation]
Takahashi Ryousuke - Why Layzner now?
Eiji is a near-miracle who was born the way he was meant to be born.
After finishing the TV series, Mr. Takahashi is busy working on the video version of Layzner.
"Episode 38 is considered by some to be a trailer for the video, but that is not true (laughs). For now, I want to complete the story that ended in a half-baked way here," says Takahashi, so we took time out of his work schedule to interview him again. Now the true nature of Layzner is revealed.
"Politics" portrayed as a reality from which we cannot escape
● First of all, I would like to ask you about the position of Layzner among the works you have made so far.
Takahashi: In the vein of Dougram, Votoms, and Galient, Layzner has not changed that much from my point of view.
The one thing that has changed is the planning. In the case of Dougram, the project had already been decided to some extent within Sunrise, and the design of the robot was also decided.
The fact that the robot was already decided was as important to me as the story itself, and it was as if about 50% of it was decided.
So, working on the stage that Sunrise had provided for me was the starting point for my robot work.
For Votoms, I started with the design of this kind of trend from Ookawara (Kunio) and the rest, and I created the story by myself, but for Dougram, I co-wrote the story with Hoshiyama (Hiroyuki).
So I was the director and author of the story, but Kanda (Takeyuki) became the director in the middle of the project, and Dougram was his first robot work as a director.
In a sense, Votoms was the crystallization of what we had developed in Dougram and what we had not been able to do. In the meantime, the sponsor's situation changed, and Sunrise's voluntary control over the robot design of Galient shifted a little.
Votoms was perfectly presented by us to the outside world, but with Galient, they asked us to do it this way, and to a certain extent, they set up restrictions.
Still, as for the planning, the company (Sunrise) and I worked together, but with Layzner, the planning and basic setting was done in the Sunrise planning office, and they asked me to make the content in this direction.
In contrast to Votoms, which had the fewest restrictions, Layzner was an original work and director work under these more restrictive conditions, and I did my own work or creation within that context.
● In terms of the semantic content of the works, what is the relationship from Dougram to Layzner to each other?
I think one of the characteristics of Takahashi works is the element of politics.
Takahashi: The idea of intertwining a situation of competing forces in the near future with the conflict between the U.S. and the Soviet Union was part of Layzner's planning, so I just used it as a straightforward way of involving politics in the story. However, I do have personal concerns of politics.
In Layzner, I don't depict politics and the feelings of boys and girls as going hand in hand or, on the contrary, as hopeless, but I think I am more lenient in that area than in Votoms. Chirico lives a life that has nothing to do with politics, and if he has no expectations, it's like a storm or an earthquake: he just has to figure out how to get through it. It's a very cold relationship of "why should I care?"
In the case of Layzner, they are involved in politics, and the protagonists believe that to some extent they are creating their own environment, so they are not saying that they are not responsible for it.
And Dougram made it more assertive: if a 15-year-old boy feels the political situation, he has to be physically active, and Crinn Cashim moves, and he is complicit, and then worries about it again.
Votoms is more like a fantasy where you ignore that kind of thing, and Galient is taking that route to some extent. So with Layzner, I tried to bring it back because it is a reality that you can't escape from.
Whether it's the relationships around you or social situations, it's impossible not to relate to something as long as you live in it in real life.
Becoming an adult means that you are a child born into a society, and now you are going to create that society.
For David and his friends, they participated in the Mars Experience School, got involved in an incident, and three years later, they are now old enough to be directly involved in society. I think that having that kind of involvement that cannot be withdrawn is growth, and it is one step toward dirtiness, taking on more and more contradictions.
But I think that our life itself is an accumulation of creating such inextricable relationships.
Eiji's father's parents were German and Japanese
● Regarding Eiji, the character at the center of the story, where does the reason for his being the main character come from?
Takahashi: Eiji was set up in the planning from the beginning as a mixture of an Earthling and Gradosian.
At the end of World War II, German rocket engineers were taken to the U.S. and the Soviet Union, right?
Eiji's father Ken, who was of mixed Japanese and American descent, was abducted by Gradosians on the moon before the first Apollo mission, and his mixed Japanese-German father gave birth to a child of mixed Gradosian and Earthling descent this time. So, what kind of life would this protagonist lead? That was my way of participating. If someone else had done it, I think they could have created a character who was energetic and determined to protect the people of the earth, but in my case, I wondered why he was mixed-race and what position I should put him in.
I thought about the whole story and decided that Eiji was there as a practical allegory to connect Grados and the Earth.
Therefore, he strives to prevent the two from fighting. When they still fight, he takes the side of the weak so that they do not die out. And when the situation is reversed, he has to take the other's side even though they have been the strong one and the other has been the weak one. Being of mixed blood, he is always in the middle, in the midst of both sides, and in a position to consider both sides.
Such an existence is almost a miracle. But there are times when things act out in reality by something close to a great coincidence.
For example, the Wright brothers were born with the ability to make airplanes at a time when the technology to do so was available. In this sense, I am presenting Eiji as a man who was born by chance.
● In addition to this structural outline of Earthlings vs. Gradosians, I think that the outline of children vs. adults, which is also intertwined with what you mentioned earlier, was also strongly emphasized in Layzner.
Takahashi: At the end of part 1 with episode 24, the screen goes white and it's over, but even internally, I was told there was no suggestiveness (laughs). But for me, the message is dangerous there, so I kept it as quick as possible. Personally, I did not want to get too involved in that area.
I mean that when a nation or a group of nations make an event with a certain will, the biggest event is a war. Then, on the verge of losing control of the battle, they always turn to young people.
As a matter of fact, even in World War II, there was a suicide squad, and they would tell the members that their young, pure hearts could possibly be the driving force behind the final national salvation suicide torpedo. How could that be? Even those who go on suicide missions know that's pretty much what they're doing, but they can't say they don't want to go, and they can't run away from it. At the end of part 1, a situation that has been created by adults is destroyed in the same way. And when it breaks down, they ask a young person to help them. It is a desperate request, but the young people go.
It is extremely vain to say that it would be better to oppose them. This is after the important things have already been taken care of. That's why I didn't want to go too far into that area.
My original idea for Layzner was to have 52 episodes in which the children do not return to earth, and the story ends when they do, but the main writer and co-creator Itou (Tsunehisa) wanted them to return to Earth after about the fifth episode and fight to protect it. There was a big discrepancy there, so there was a battle between the creator and the creator (laughs). That's how it ended after 24 episodes.
That is why I thought that if the children returned to Earth and the adults' world remained the same, the children would have no more opportunities to participate in the story. I felt that it would be difficult to create the story after that.
That is why I thought that part 2 would not continue unless the Earth side of the system was destroyed in such a way (laughs).
● To say "appeal" would be an exaggeration, but what is it that you wanted people watching through Layzner to feel? As a final note (laughs).
Takahashi: I would like people not to underestimate the importance of human contact. Basically, we are trying to value human beings, but even if it is someone else's pain that you don't feel, you can use your imagination to compensate for it and make it your own. I want people to use their imagination in that good sense and make their relationships with others more intense. That is why Layzner's theme is communication.
(Recorded on July 2)
Special thanks to WindiiGitlord on twitter (and Niko) for this wouldn't have happened without the both of them. Check out Windii's profile for any JPN translation commission requests, I highly recommend her service.
[ORIGINAL ARTICLE, i apologize for the poor photos but here it is. OUT volume 9, '86.]


[translation]
Takahashi Ryousuke - Why Layzner now?
Eiji is a near-miracle who was born the way he was meant to be born.
After finishing the TV series, Mr. Takahashi is busy working on the video version of Layzner.
"Episode 38 is considered by some to be a trailer for the video, but that is not true (laughs). For now, I want to complete the story that ended in a half-baked way here," says Takahashi, so we took time out of his work schedule to interview him again. Now the true nature of Layzner is revealed.
"Politics" portrayed as a reality from which we cannot escape
● First of all, I would like to ask you about the position of Layzner among the works you have made so far.
Takahashi: In the vein of Dougram, Votoms, and Galient, Layzner has not changed that much from my point of view.
The one thing that has changed is the planning. In the case of Dougram, the project had already been decided to some extent within Sunrise, and the design of the robot was also decided.
The fact that the robot was already decided was as important to me as the story itself, and it was as if about 50% of it was decided.
So, working on the stage that Sunrise had provided for me was the starting point for my robot work.
For Votoms, I started with the design of this kind of trend from Ookawara (Kunio) and the rest, and I created the story by myself, but for Dougram, I co-wrote the story with Hoshiyama (Hiroyuki).
So I was the director and author of the story, but Kanda (Takeyuki) became the director in the middle of the project, and Dougram was his first robot work as a director.
In a sense, Votoms was the crystallization of what we had developed in Dougram and what we had not been able to do. In the meantime, the sponsor's situation changed, and Sunrise's voluntary control over the robot design of Galient shifted a little.
Votoms was perfectly presented by us to the outside world, but with Galient, they asked us to do it this way, and to a certain extent, they set up restrictions.
Still, as for the planning, the company (Sunrise) and I worked together, but with Layzner, the planning and basic setting was done in the Sunrise planning office, and they asked me to make the content in this direction.
In contrast to Votoms, which had the fewest restrictions, Layzner was an original work and director work under these more restrictive conditions, and I did my own work or creation within that context.
● In terms of the semantic content of the works, what is the relationship from Dougram to Layzner to each other?
I think one of the characteristics of Takahashi works is the element of politics.
Takahashi: The idea of intertwining a situation of competing forces in the near future with the conflict between the U.S. and the Soviet Union was part of Layzner's planning, so I just used it as a straightforward way of involving politics in the story. However, I do have personal concerns of politics.
In Layzner, I don't depict politics and the feelings of boys and girls as going hand in hand or, on the contrary, as hopeless, but I think I am more lenient in that area than in Votoms. Chirico lives a life that has nothing to do with politics, and if he has no expectations, it's like a storm or an earthquake: he just has to figure out how to get through it. It's a very cold relationship of "why should I care?"
In the case of Layzner, they are involved in politics, and the protagonists believe that to some extent they are creating their own environment, so they are not saying that they are not responsible for it.
And Dougram made it more assertive: if a 15-year-old boy feels the political situation, he has to be physically active, and Crinn Cashim moves, and he is complicit, and then worries about it again.
Votoms is more like a fantasy where you ignore that kind of thing, and Galient is taking that route to some extent. So with Layzner, I tried to bring it back because it is a reality that you can't escape from.
Whether it's the relationships around you or social situations, it's impossible not to relate to something as long as you live in it in real life.
Becoming an adult means that you are a child born into a society, and now you are going to create that society.
For David and his friends, they participated in the Mars Experience School, got involved in an incident, and three years later, they are now old enough to be directly involved in society. I think that having that kind of involvement that cannot be withdrawn is growth, and it is one step toward dirtiness, taking on more and more contradictions.
But I think that our life itself is an accumulation of creating such inextricable relationships.
Eiji's father's parents were German and Japanese
● Regarding Eiji, the character at the center of the story, where does the reason for his being the main character come from?
Takahashi: Eiji was set up in the planning from the beginning as a mixture of an Earthling and Gradosian.
At the end of World War II, German rocket engineers were taken to the U.S. and the Soviet Union, right?
Eiji's father Ken, who was of mixed Japanese and American descent, was abducted by Gradosians on the moon before the first Apollo mission, and his mixed Japanese-German father gave birth to a child of mixed Gradosian and Earthling descent this time. So, what kind of life would this protagonist lead? That was my way of participating. If someone else had done it, I think they could have created a character who was energetic and determined to protect the people of the earth, but in my case, I wondered why he was mixed-race and what position I should put him in.
I thought about the whole story and decided that Eiji was there as a practical allegory to connect Grados and the Earth.
Therefore, he strives to prevent the two from fighting. When they still fight, he takes the side of the weak so that they do not die out. And when the situation is reversed, he has to take the other's side even though they have been the strong one and the other has been the weak one. Being of mixed blood, he is always in the middle, in the midst of both sides, and in a position to consider both sides.
Such an existence is almost a miracle. But there are times when things act out in reality by something close to a great coincidence.
For example, the Wright brothers were born with the ability to make airplanes at a time when the technology to do so was available. In this sense, I am presenting Eiji as a man who was born by chance.
● In addition to this structural outline of Earthlings vs. Gradosians, I think that the outline of children vs. adults, which is also intertwined with what you mentioned earlier, was also strongly emphasized in Layzner.
Takahashi: At the end of part 1 with episode 24, the screen goes white and it's over, but even internally, I was told there was no suggestiveness (laughs). But for me, the message is dangerous there, so I kept it as quick as possible. Personally, I did not want to get too involved in that area.
I mean that when a nation or a group of nations make an event with a certain will, the biggest event is a war. Then, on the verge of losing control of the battle, they always turn to young people.
As a matter of fact, even in World War II, there was a suicide squad, and they would tell the members that their young, pure hearts could possibly be the driving force behind the final national salvation suicide torpedo. How could that be? Even those who go on suicide missions know that's pretty much what they're doing, but they can't say they don't want to go, and they can't run away from it. At the end of part 1, a situation that has been created by adults is destroyed in the same way. And when it breaks down, they ask a young person to help them. It is a desperate request, but the young people go.
It is extremely vain to say that it would be better to oppose them. This is after the important things have already been taken care of. That's why I didn't want to go too far into that area.
My original idea for Layzner was to have 52 episodes in which the children do not return to earth, and the story ends when they do, but the main writer and co-creator Itou (Tsunehisa) wanted them to return to Earth after about the fifth episode and fight to protect it. There was a big discrepancy there, so there was a battle between the creator and the creator (laughs). That's how it ended after 24 episodes.
That is why I thought that if the children returned to Earth and the adults' world remained the same, the children would have no more opportunities to participate in the story. I felt that it would be difficult to create the story after that.
That is why I thought that part 2 would not continue unless the Earth side of the system was destroyed in such a way (laughs).
● To say "appeal" would be an exaggeration, but what is it that you wanted people watching through Layzner to feel? As a final note (laughs).
Takahashi: I would like people not to underestimate the importance of human contact. Basically, we are trying to value human beings, but even if it is someone else's pain that you don't feel, you can use your imagination to compensate for it and make it your own. I want people to use their imagination in that good sense and make their relationships with others more intense. That is why Layzner's theme is communication.
(Recorded on July 2)
Special thanks to WindiiGitlord on twitter (and Niko) for this wouldn't have happened without the both of them. Check out Windii's profile for any JPN translation commission requests, I highly recommend her service.
free steam vn review marathon
Aug. 6th, 2023 08:30 pmit's been more than a while since last post and i've been feeling like a lazy fucker. with a slow workweek, i've been chugging through random free indie steam vns in hope of striking inspiration. i'll go by order, but i've found gold, and not to discount someone's work, but also some unbaked concepts. sorry if there is not a lot of plot overview at all, i'm trying to let most people go in blind..
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
security articles i find interesting
Jun. 8th, 2023 08:59 amputting this shit together for reference. will add as the days go on..!
WEBSEC
The Dangers of Google’s .zip TLD <- hey this actually ended up being relevant.
https://medium.com/@bobbyrsec/the-dangers-of-googles-zip-tld-5e1e675e59a5
RE
Fractureiser - Minecraft Malware Analysis
https://github.com/fractureiser-investigation/fractureiser/blob/main/docs/tech.md
HARDWARE
Samsung S Pen Internals
https://rishifranklin.blogspot.com/2015/02/samsung-s-pen-internals.html
WEBSEC
The Dangers of Google’s .zip TLD <- hey this actually ended up being relevant.
https://medium.com/@bobbyrsec/the-dangers-of-googles-zip-tld-5e1e675e59a5
RE
Fractureiser - Minecraft Malware Analysis
https://github.com/fractureiser-investigation/fractureiser/blob/main/docs/tech.md
HARDWARE
Samsung S Pen Internals
https://rishifranklin.blogspot.com/2015/02/samsung-s-pen-internals.html
fear and hunger in las vegas
Jun. 6th, 2023 10:21 pmi've really been fucking slacking on writing anything recently. and drawing. i am real tired after work and errands and upset with any creative output. so, let me put down half-baked shower thoughts from yesterday.
this is a draft. this is not finished. i will work on it later when i am not half asleep.
since this is going to be some ramblings on fear and hunger (video game) i am kindly asking any minors to click off
( read more )
this is a draft. this is not finished. i will work on it later when i am not half asleep.
since this is going to be some ramblings on fear and hunger (video game) i am kindly asking any minors to click off
( read more )
5/22/23 nothing in particular
May. 22nd, 2023 04:59 pmit's been an unfathomably unproductive weekend. I'm getting antsy since I haven't been posting anything for a minute either. Had a mediocre burrito and listened to some Soda Stereo and now I'm binging books to say I did something.
i liked the ending of the rocket man, fascinated by the line of "content is everything" in the fire balloons, and really a fan of no particular night or morning. i'd like to read that one again for reference because i like the dialogue. the visitor is also going to stick with me for a while.
read my espionage book and while a lot of what i wrote fits in accordingly, i'll have to rethink some other aspects.
binged all of barry s4 last night and was thoroughly impressed. lots of dialogue and scenes to simmer about.
feeling a little guilty for having so little to report back with.
i liked the ending of the rocket man, fascinated by the line of "content is everything" in the fire balloons, and really a fan of no particular night or morning. i'd like to read that one again for reference because i like the dialogue. the visitor is also going to stick with me for a while.
read my espionage book and while a lot of what i wrote fits in accordingly, i'll have to rethink some other aspects.
binged all of barry s4 last night and was thoroughly impressed. lots of dialogue and scenes to simmer about.
feeling a little guilty for having so little to report back with.
cold war-related reading lists
May. 18th, 2023 09:38 pmgoing to be listing off content as i go on
The Plutonium Files - Eileen Welsome
https://ia803202.us.archive.org/16/items/1999-ew-the-plutonium-files/1999%20EW%20The%20Plutonium%20Files.pdf
Plutopia - Kate Brown
https://archive.org/details/plutopianuclearf0000brow
KGB: the secret work of Soviet secret agents - John Barron
https://archive.org/details/kgbsecretworkofs00barr
<- takin notes on this rn.
STAWKOWSKI, M. E. (2016). “I am a radioactive mutant”: Emergent biological subjectivities at Kazakhstan’s Semipalatinsk Nuclear Test Site. American Ethnologist, 43(1), 144–157. doi:10.1111/amet.12269 -> https://sci-hub.ru/10.1111/amet.12269
reading through some other books across the weeks. i am forgetting a lot of things i read/watched. will update if they are good or bullshit!
__
to read:
https://www.jstor.org/stable/235896 <- need to figure out how to get a pdf
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/027046769501500456
https://archive.org/details/fullbodyburdengr0000iver
https://www.academia.edu/2459111/Being_Nuclear_Africans_and_the_Global_Uranium_Trade
Carucci, Laurence. 1997. Nuclear Nativity: Rituals of Renewal and Empowerment in the Marshall Islands. pdf
https://www.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/Preprints/P393.PDF
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/231756271_HOLLY_M_BARKER_Bravo_for_the_Marshallese_Regaining_control_in_a_post-nuclear_post-colonial_world_Belmont_CA_ThomsonWadsworth_2004_Pp_xv_172_Pb_2595
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09668130903506813
The Plutonium Files - Eileen Welsome
https://ia803202.us.archive.org/16/items/1999-ew-the-plutonium-files/1999%20EW%20The%20Plutonium%20Files.pdf
Plutopia - Kate Brown
https://archive.org/details/plutopianuclearf0000brow
KGB: the secret work of Soviet secret agents - John Barron
https://archive.org/details/kgbsecretworkofs00barr
<- takin notes on this rn.
STAWKOWSKI, M. E. (2016). “I am a radioactive mutant”: Emergent biological subjectivities at Kazakhstan’s Semipalatinsk Nuclear Test Site. American Ethnologist, 43(1), 144–157. doi:10.1111/amet.12269 -> https://sci-hub.ru/10.1111/amet.12269
reading through some other books across the weeks. i am forgetting a lot of things i read/watched. will update if they are good or bullshit!
__
to read:
https://www.jstor.org/stable/235896 <- need to figure out how to get a pdf
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/027046769501500456
https://archive.org/details/fullbodyburdengr0000iver
https://www.academia.edu/2459111/Being_Nuclear_Africans_and_the_Global_Uranium_Trade
Carucci, Laurence. 1997. Nuclear Nativity: Rituals of Renewal and Empowerment in the Marshall Islands. pdf
https://www.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/Preprints/P393.PDF
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/231756271_HOLLY_M_BARKER_Bravo_for_the_Marshallese_Regaining_control_in_a_post-nuclear_post-colonial_world_Belmont_CA_ThomsonWadsworth_2004_Pp_xv_172_Pb_2595
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09668130903506813
music loggin' 5/18/23
May. 18th, 2023 04:13 pmmm, maybe it's counterintuitive to make a playlist on a blogging site rather than a youtube playlist, buut i want to try making this a habit.
i have a stupid goal of coming up with 80s playlists for nearly every country, but i have to start small first. ehehehe.
gonna dump my findings of the month
Karvan - Səni Görəndə
Karvan - Bilərsən
I can't find any english articles on the group so I'll rely off poorly Google Translated content. Karvan (Caravan in english) was an Azerbaijani pop group led by Sevinj Karimova. It was founded in 1984 in Baku but was disbanded due to the First Nagorno-Karabakh War. Alas, I can't find anything on Discogs either... Will keep tabs and see if I can dig something up later.
黄敏华 - 过气晚装
Zeta Wong is a singer from Hong Kong who won several singing competitions and her song Challenge supposedly even became an official song for the Olympics in 88. There may be more discography info missing but I could at least scavenge up discogs pages with her names: https://www.discogs.com/master/1623683-Zeta-Wong-Korea-%E6%8C%91%E6%88%B0 and https://www.discogs.com/artist/6284569-%E9%BB%83%E6%95%8F%E8%8F%AF.
Динамик / Dynamic - Воздух Свеж
Dynamic is another Moscow-originated music group from the 80s. It was short lived, only existing in 1982, until it became rebranded as Vladimir Kuzmin and the Dynamic group. I haven't dug too deep into their music so perhaps I'll come back to writing more on them later.
There's a cool little article on their work here https://vk.com/wall-174586524_62.
Harun Kolçak & Nur Yengi - Yeniden Aşkın
Both are singers from Istanbul with fairly extensive discographies. Yengi in fact is an actress and one of the most popular Turkish singers from the 90s. I'm getting lazy now so I'm not sure if I'll investigate further.
Доктор - Я схожу с ума
Okay, this is a weird case. I genuinely cannot find any info on this band at all. I'm unsure if it's mislabeled or not, I've found another band with the same name and release date but the vocals and production sound nothing alike. Maybe I can ask around on VK or some leddit site later. For now they remain a mystery.
-UPDATE-
Thanks to my friend Ulysses, the actual song has been found. Календарь - Ты снишься мне. Unfortunately, I have just as little information on this group. Man...
Zdravko Čolić - Pusti Pusti Modu
"Dubbed the 'Tom Jones' of the Balkans." I think that's a good enough summary. I'm a fan. I can't outdo this. He's a Bosnian Serb from Sarajevo and one of the most popular singers of former Yugoslavia. God bless.
Дисплей - Иностранка
Okei, I'd recommend listening to the full set that's on Spotify, it's great. Back to artist descriptions, it's a Ukranian synth/rock band composed of Vadim Lachuk and his wife Ellen Kreis. Will have to dig into their other work but the album this song is from is great.
Форум - Белая ночь
Lastly, I gotta finish it up with a demo(?) of White Night from Forum. I was gonna talk about them in this article but I'm saving up my autism for perhaps a solo entry on their group. I'm genuinely surprised that I haven't heard this version until last week and I'm a bit obsessed with it.
Thanks for bearing with this week of my musical adventure. Peace.
i have a stupid goal of coming up with 80s playlists for nearly every country, but i have to start small first. ehehehe.
gonna dump my findings of the month
Karvan - Səni Görəndə
Karvan - Bilərsən
I can't find any english articles on the group so I'll rely off poorly Google Translated content. Karvan (Caravan in english) was an Azerbaijani pop group led by Sevinj Karimova. It was founded in 1984 in Baku but was disbanded due to the First Nagorno-Karabakh War. Alas, I can't find anything on Discogs either... Will keep tabs and see if I can dig something up later.
黄敏华 - 过气晚装
Zeta Wong is a singer from Hong Kong who won several singing competitions and her song Challenge supposedly even became an official song for the Olympics in 88. There may be more discography info missing but I could at least scavenge up discogs pages with her names: https://www.discogs.com/master/1623683-Zeta-Wong-Korea-%E6%8C%91%E6%88%B0 and https://www.discogs.com/artist/6284569-%E9%BB%83%E6%95%8F%E8%8F%AF.
Динамик / Dynamic - Воздух Свеж
Dynamic is another Moscow-originated music group from the 80s. It was short lived, only existing in 1982, until it became rebranded as Vladimir Kuzmin and the Dynamic group. I haven't dug too deep into their music so perhaps I'll come back to writing more on them later.
There's a cool little article on their work here https://vk.com/wall-174586524_62.
Harun Kolçak & Nur Yengi - Yeniden Aşkın
Both are singers from Istanbul with fairly extensive discographies. Yengi in fact is an actress and one of the most popular Turkish singers from the 90s. I'm getting lazy now so I'm not sure if I'll investigate further.
Доктор - Я схожу с ума
Okay, this is a weird case. I genuinely cannot find any info on this band at all. I'm unsure if it's mislabeled or not, I've found another band with the same name and release date but the vocals and production sound nothing alike. Maybe I can ask around on VK or some leddit site later. For now they remain a mystery.
-UPDATE-
Thanks to my friend Ulysses, the actual song has been found. Календарь - Ты снишься мне. Unfortunately, I have just as little information on this group. Man...
Zdravko Čolić - Pusti Pusti Modu
"Dubbed the 'Tom Jones' of the Balkans." I think that's a good enough summary. I'm a fan. I can't outdo this. He's a Bosnian Serb from Sarajevo and one of the most popular singers of former Yugoslavia. God bless.
Дисплей - Иностранка
Okei, I'd recommend listening to the full set that's on Spotify, it's great. Back to artist descriptions, it's a Ukranian synth/rock band composed of Vadim Lachuk and his wife Ellen Kreis. Will have to dig into their other work but the album this song is from is great.
Форум - Белая ночь
Lastly, I gotta finish it up with a demo(?) of White Night from Forum. I was gonna talk about them in this article but I'm saving up my autism for perhaps a solo entry on their group. I'm genuinely surprised that I haven't heard this version until last week and I'm a bit obsessed with it.
Thanks for bearing with this week of my musical adventure. Peace.
just can't help myself
May. 18th, 2023 03:04 pmahahah take this as a cringe re-write for a layzner episode. my bad. technically it's fanfic i guess (embarrassed).

It was painfully easy to ignore the system's bright voice reminding me of my imminent death. When your whole existence is lived alongside machines, you can tune out that shrill chime of artificial feedback. But I wonder, maybe all that constant instruction got to my head. And yet I still wanted to fight that promise of mortality without lifting my gun.
Every strike upon the machine's body resonated in the cockpit. As it was failing, I felt like I too could slip away. An unnatural feeling gripped me. As I watched the metal shatter off my vehicle I felt like my body was being chipped away too.
I wanted to pray that the sheer force of the machine would make me pass out, but I still maintained a dulled awareness. It was like a dream. The machine tapped into that primal thought of mashing and tearing to stay alive. Utter annihilation.
From the distance, to others, it was a brilliant blue light. But I could see the pearls of red float across my display.
In that vast blackness was a kaleidoscope of twisted metal and crimson shards of glass. I wanted to look away from the crumpled body strapped to the seat; I didn't want to perceive the weak and shallow breaths over the headset. The man who grew up beside me, taught me how to fight, was stubborn till the damn end. But only now did he realize that the blood and muscle underneath the flesh was a real, palpable thing. And only now could the glint of that fated blue planet reach his eyes. I didn't care about what beauty was perceived by him at that moment. It's like you could only open your eyes and view the significance of life when it's slowly being ripped out of you.
Finally, it all went quiet. I screamed until my throat seared.

It was painfully easy to ignore the system's bright voice reminding me of my imminent death. When your whole existence is lived alongside machines, you can tune out that shrill chime of artificial feedback. But I wonder, maybe all that constant instruction got to my head. And yet I still wanted to fight that promise of mortality without lifting my gun.
Every strike upon the machine's body resonated in the cockpit. As it was failing, I felt like I too could slip away. An unnatural feeling gripped me. As I watched the metal shatter off my vehicle I felt like my body was being chipped away too.
I wanted to pray that the sheer force of the machine would make me pass out, but I still maintained a dulled awareness. It was like a dream. The machine tapped into that primal thought of mashing and tearing to stay alive. Utter annihilation.
From the distance, to others, it was a brilliant blue light. But I could see the pearls of red float across my display.
In that vast blackness was a kaleidoscope of twisted metal and crimson shards of glass. I wanted to look away from the crumpled body strapped to the seat; I didn't want to perceive the weak and shallow breaths over the headset. The man who grew up beside me, taught me how to fight, was stubborn till the damn end. But only now did he realize that the blood and muscle underneath the flesh was a real, palpable thing. And only now could the glint of that fated blue planet reach his eyes. I didn't care about what beauty was perceived by him at that moment. It's like you could only open your eyes and view the significance of life when it's slowly being ripped out of you.
Finally, it all went quiet. I screamed until my throat seared.
on the voyager(s):
May. 17th, 2023 07:40 pmgiven that i finally have a spot to put this somewhere, here's a heartfelt paragraph on that accursed space probe
The Voyager probes are humanity's greatest achievement. Not only did we reach out past the limits of our solar system, but we cried out to the universe to tell it that mankind exists. Or maybe that mankind existed.
We provided a record of our existence. That we're capable of death and destruction, but also creativity, love, and tradition, for better or for worse. We tried our best to encapsulate music and culture for the enjoyment of whatever else stumbles upon it. Perhaps it was a shot in the dark. Maybe, it will get crushed, turned to dust, or simply be regarded by others as trash. But it was an attempt at a kind of immortality, to trace the word with our fingertips. None of us know how many cultures and civilizations crumbled before us. I'm sure that other civilizations tried their hardest to quantify events and science and things they loved, but so much of it has been wiped. Even in recent years, so much information has been lost and now there seems to be a path paved for more of it to vanish. Who says that all record of our existence won't be lost? Maybe it is selfish to think that we are so important, when in fact any changes we make in the grand scheme of the universe has no cosmic effect on anything at all. But what if we really are the only ones? There's no way for us to know really. By extending our hand to the great unknown we showed it the heartbeat of the world. The Earth's heart may stop but its memory is preserved there.
The Voyager probes are humanity's greatest achievement. Not only did we reach out past the limits of our solar system, but we cried out to the universe to tell it that mankind exists. Or maybe that mankind existed.
We provided a record of our existence. That we're capable of death and destruction, but also creativity, love, and tradition, for better or for worse. We tried our best to encapsulate music and culture for the enjoyment of whatever else stumbles upon it. Perhaps it was a shot in the dark. Maybe, it will get crushed, turned to dust, or simply be regarded by others as trash. But it was an attempt at a kind of immortality, to trace the word with our fingertips. None of us know how many cultures and civilizations crumbled before us. I'm sure that other civilizations tried their hardest to quantify events and science and things they loved, but so much of it has been wiped. Even in recent years, so much information has been lost and now there seems to be a path paved for more of it to vanish. Who says that all record of our existence won't be lost? Maybe it is selfish to think that we are so important, when in fact any changes we make in the grand scheme of the universe has no cosmic effect on anything at all. But what if we really are the only ones? There's no way for us to know really. By extending our hand to the great unknown we showed it the heartbeat of the world. The Earth's heart may stop but its memory is preserved there.